Cheer, Part of life.

My ex-team , Cheer Aces got a very good result in SEACO'13 , a Singapore Cheer Competition.
I was so proud of it,
and it flashed back lots of my memories with cheers.

Seeing my junior Panthers are now representing CA for Seaco
Seeing ACES from a team where "lacking of members" and now they are succeeding with 2 teams and more...
I really feel proud of them
at the same time, I felt regret. deeply...
why would I quit cheer? What if I able to enjoy these with them again?

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I joined cheer since 2010.
with Assunta cheer, Panthers and Cheer Aces.
from a nothing, to something.
from a stick, now at least I get my split.

this sport had built me up physically and mentally. 

But again, why would I quit cheer ?

the last time I'm with CA, 

I felt left out, excluded, guilty

I don't have friends from previous team ; and yet I'm not improving

with the half year time, I still never gotta my back handspring. 

WHY WHY WHY?

with the problem of socializing, I loss my interest in training. 

Since the amount of people limit us only able to form A team to competition

and of course I'm not that good to be in the team

my evil devil in mind telling me that : No point attending training since I'm not representing. 

yes. That moment I really feel depressed. 

" why m I still cheering when I'm not cheer up. "

Worst moment in SEACO 2012,

I don't find FRIENDS. 

I'm not blaming anyone; just trying to say that

through practice, hardcore training, I believe every stunt group/ partners built a strong and close relationship

as they were TRAIN to work together for months

and what am I again? 

being IGNORED when they share about cheer ; talks about injuries ; discuss on mistakes

although I was there throughout their traning session,

but I'm not Involved.

I don't know the pain ........................ 

Yeah at the same time,

I was actively involved in Cosplay

I find "FRIENDS" there ; I felt involved.

and "COSPLAY" and something not acceptable by "CHEERLEADER" .. at least most of them. 

so yeah.

although now I'm kinda like deactive from both of them.

I realize I missed CHEER than COSPLAY.

I don't have a good time in CA (maybe) ; but I do have Fun and memories in Panthers and Assunta

If I'd hold a second chance ; 

I will never quit cheer. :)

when I said I don't missed cheering ; It was a lie.......